Techie takes it to a sublime level...

A friend of mine (and i insist, a man is NOT known by the company he keeps) has just started preparing a "Time Sheet" for his son, who is just about 10 something!

He is apparently frustrated with the poor soul's limited skills in time management and has decided to provide him with the necessary tools to evolve into a fine and organised (almost military) gentleman.

So this lad of ten will now get an insight on how grown-up men manage other not-so-grown-up men, using dubious HRMS tools. He will learn that the worst thing about life is to part with the freedom of being able to do what you want at your convenience.

He will realise what his dad had to part with to get them the comforts and the occassional luxuries of life...

You've made a point...

Nothing flies higher than your national flag in a foreign land. You could be orbiting the moon or going past Pluto, if you may, but you would still be a tad lower than your nation’s flag kissing the cool breeze of an alien land.

And when it is our tri-colour being held high somewhere far away from our shores, I just can’t hold back my tears.

See we are a poor country of billions battling for a respectable existence. Here, even earning your daily bread is a matter of challenge and a sizeable section of the population barely eke a living out of the struggle and drudgery of mediocrity. Survival, and survival alone, is our biggest engagement.

Our kids don’t get to go to costly cricket coaching schools that offer the pinpoint precision of technology or the luxury of modern physiological treatment to injuries. The vast majority of our boys don’t even get to see a bowling machine till they would have made it to State-level tourneys.

All they have is a love for their religion – Cricket. And an overriding sense of belongingness to the tri-colour.

Thanks Harbhajan. You made sure our pride was our aplomb in WACA. It doesn’t matter who got the last wicket, who was bowled or trapped leg before. At that moment I didn’t care if it swung in to the right hander or simply yorked through. Am sure even you couldn’t care less.

To us (the billions of hard working Indians across the globe) it was that Flag in your hand that mattered the most. That was our moment of glory, our success and our joy.

God bless you. And when you guys have had enough fun, just fold that cute thing in four and keep it in your luggage. You may need it pretty soon again.

This lane is too dark for women..

I still remember the graphic and gory details of how President Najibullah came to the end of the road. Or Daniel Pearl. I was too young when Najib was castrated and murdered (subsequently his body was hung from a Traffic Signal Post) by the Taleban. But the horror remains etched in the memory.

Mob fury takes nasty turns and good men get sucked. I never acquainted Dr. Najib or Mr. Pearl and knew too little about them to pass a judgment. However, I strongly believe, they never attempted to molest a woman. And for an Indian like me, that’s enough to call someone a "GOOD" man. At least, a tad better than the average.

So why do good men meet gory ends? Or, more importantly, what stops us from offering the same ends to the “not-so-good” men who tease and molest two young girls in Juhu or squeeze someone’s private in Kochi. I don’t know.

I never respected Indians - shining, rising or - if you allow me - letch-ing & molesting. I never thought we should be proud of this half clad, ill-educated, primal millions - even if they end up topping charts in terms of Market capitalization or a Billionaires list. Am not with the Churchill-ian approach to this. But am not too far, either.

Don’t believe in Indian civilization – it is non-existent.

Or, lets say, our religion.

Baitullah Mehsud, (call him whatever, am not justifying violence to pursue ideologies) has the ****s to stand up and say he didn’t kill Benazir simply because his religion doesn’t permit violence against women – a religion that was ushered into existence some two thousand years after ours.
The word Religion doesn't have a perfect substitute in Sanskrit. It is loosely associated with the word Dharma. And Dharma, in turn, can be associated with Characteristic principles of a being. So, can we, by our own definition, figure out where we are leading our Dharma to? Trafficking young girls, molesting women and beating up home-makers for the bucks you couldn't earn yourself - thats our Dharma.

Where are our Gods and our Godmen? Where are the millions trying to learn the “art of living” the better way? Where’s our Kashi & Hardwar? Where’s that four lettered “Indian Heritage” for which the poor Swedish girl got her posterior pinched?

Fact is we are a lot of impotent, sex-starved jokers. Look at the joy in thefaces of the molesters in the HT photographs, you’ll know what am talking of.

A couple of years back when Dhananjoy was being set up for the gallows in Kolkata, some “pseudo” jokers (read “Civil rights activists”) made a lot of noise about the disadvantages of Capital punishment. Some, among them, were women too. God bless them – am not suggesting they should have been “whatever”, but if someday they happen to be “whatever” – I would be the first person to propose amnesty for the perpetrators (Guilty, is a long haul in the Indian Judicial system).

Of Monkeys & Historians

Bhajji got it all wrong. I just learned from Procter (and that makes ME a learned man, not him!!) that Bhajji has been punished not for racism. It was for getting history wrong. The Aussies, apparently, vehemently objected to being called “monkeys”. They said their history is about criminals and convicts and deported inmates of debtors’ prisons. But they ain’t monkeys by any measure of the term.

I was too poor with History and never managed anything above a “C” till I was out of High school. To be honest, some of my mates are amazed by the fact that I ever made it out of High school. But I do remember having taken a few lessons about colonisation of the Down Under.

Australia wasn’t the cradle of civilisation. As a mater of fact, it will still take them some time to be civilised. They have all agreed to that. Procter told me so!!

Look Paji, you got to go back to school and get your knowledge of history right. After all, it is in the interest of the game. It’s perfect to be un-gentlemanly in cricket but you mustn’t call a convict, a monkey.

Interestingly, the aussies are led by an equally under-civilised joker called Ricky Ponting. Now, to me, the very name smacks of subterranean existence. RICKY – don’t you find that too lowly. There are much sober Christian first names. Much wholesome and respectful. Like Richard, for example. Somehow, Ricky doesn’t seem to be class. Not that I expect that of Aussies, just a passing mention of my discomfort.

Now this joker was once thrown out of Equinox (a pub) in Kolkata, for misbehaving with women. He was also banned once for fighting outside a pub in Kings Cross, NSW. That doesn’t make him a monkey though.

Bhajji boy, go brush yourself to some aussie women. That’s civilisation in down under. But don’t dare call them monkeys. “That’s not on, maiit".

PS: My apologies to all Monkeys, should I have hurt their sensibilities.